


16 and 18

by iolana5050



Series: A Twist of Fate [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fate, Light Angst, Multi, Mutual Pining, Photographer Harry, Platonic Life Partners, Songwriter Louis, Teacher Louis, Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 12:59:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10617402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iolana5050/pseuds/iolana5050
Summary: “When can I meet them?” Louis asked impatiently.“Well,” his father explained slowly, “no one knows when they’ll meet their Soulmate. It’s up to Fate, and Fate will always make sure you meet them at just the right time.”orThe Soulmate AU where Fate decides it's not quite time for Louis and Harry to meet yet.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is the first fic I've written in quite a few years, so sorry if it's a bit shit. I would love to hear your feedback in the comments! :)

_ 3 and 5 _

It was just a flash – a blur of soft colours and even softer bed sheets, there one second and gone the next. But that was enough for Louis.

“Mummy! Daddy! I saw it! It happened!” he yelled as he ran across the house, little feet pattering on the kitchen tiles.

William and Jay just stared at their son, equal parts amused and concerned.

“What is it, Lou Bear? What did you see?” Jay asked slowly, with a mother’s infinite patience.

“The vision! The one you said about… the… the…” In his rush to share the exciting news, Louis couldn’t quite remember the word he was looking for.

“A Soulmate vision, love?” Jay supplied.

“Yes, a _Soulmate_ vision!” Louis exclaimed, jumping up and down, unable to contain his excitement.

“Are you sure, son?” William asked cautiously. “They usually happen when you’re quite a bit older.”

“Of course I’m sure!” Louis proclaimed indignantly, offended that his father would doubt his judgement. He was already _five_ after all; that was plenty old enough to know what a Soulmate vision was, as far as Louis was concerned. “There was a bed… and… and it was yellow and pink, and so soft! And it was happy. They were happy, and calm…”

“Peaceful?” Jay suggested. Louis nodded fervently.

“Wow, that’s quite incredible Louis. You must have a really _special_ connection with your Soulmate.” William smiled fondly at his son; Louis beamed.

“When can I meet them?” Louis asked impatiently.

“Well,” his father explained slowly, “no one knows when they’ll meet their Soulmate. It’s up to Fate, and Fate will always make sure you meet them at _just_ the right time.” He turned his gaze to smile at his own Soulmate; the love between them was palpable.

Louis was eager – he wanted to meet the person who would look at him the way his parents looked at each other. But for now he was content with what he had – his first Soulmate vision.

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 4 and 6 _

Harry’s first Soulmate vision was a rather different experience. He was sat on the floor playing with Gemma and her dolls, giggling at something she did, when he suddenly fell silent.

Anne looked down from her papers to check on her son, finding him staring, wide-eyed, into thin air. His sister was growing impatient. “Harry? Haaarryyy!” she said, waving her hand in front of his face to get his attention. No response.

Just as Anne was getting worried for her son’s health, he seemed to snap out of his trance. He looked around, dazed, for a few seconds before catching his mother’s eye.

“Are you alright, love?” she asked him apprehensively. This was not normal 4-year-old behaviour.

“I… saw something.” Harry said slowly.

“What did you see?” Anne was curious, and starting to wonder if she had given birth to a psychic.

“A graveyard.” That answer definitely did not ease Anne’s worries. “It was raining… And so cold.” He began to cry. Harry knew it didn’t actually happen, but it was also the realest thing he had ever experienced. The moment was so clear in his mind – a family dressed in black was stood around a grave, but it was too painful to look at. Instead, his gaze had been focused on the background, where a massive oak tree stood spreading its branches over the field of tombstones. The rain was not heavy, but the wind made him shiver; he felt so small, and so alone.

Anne suddenly realised what was probably happening. “Hazza, look at me son. What you just saw was a _Soulmate vision_. You know what a Soulmate is, Harry?” He nodded tearfully. “Well, when your Soulmate sees and feels something really strongly, you can feel it too.”

“But I don’t want my Soulmate to be sad.” Harry looked devastated.

“Don’t worry, son. They won’t be sad forever.” Anne smiled reassuringly.

“You’re so lucky Harry! I haven’t had _any_ Soulmate visions yet!” Gemma exclaimed.

Maybe he was lucky, or maybe not. But all Harry wanted to do right now was find his Soulmate and tell them everything would be okay.

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 7 and 9 _

“Yeah, I get them all the time. It’s hard to explain, but it’s like you don’t really know what’s happening, or who’s there, and you can only see and hear pieces, but you still know exactly how they feel? I don’t know… It’s pretty amazing.”

Louis was trying his best to explain his Soulmate visions to Niall. He was one of the only kids at school who’d had any yet, and made no secret of it, so everyone was extremely curious.

“Wow! That sounds so cool,” Niall said in wonder. “Do you get them a lot?”

“Maybe once a week? Mum says that’s a lot compared to most people.” Louis didn’t mean to brag, honestly, but he couldn’t help being pleased. Jay had told him frequent visions meant his Soulmate was a particularly open and passionate person, but he liked to believe they also had an especially strong Soulmate bond.

The two boys were sat on the grass of their local football pitch. That afternoon was the big game against their rival school’s football team, an event both boys had been eagerly anticipating for weeks.

“Remember the strategy,” Niall said, his mouth full of bacon sandwich, “you gotta watch Davidson and make sure he doesn’t get the ball. If you’ve got the ball, pass it to me and – Louis?”

Louis had been listening and nodding, but now seemed distracted, smiling and looking off into the distance. When Niall called his name, he snapped back to reality.

“Ooh, was that another vision? What did you see?” Niall probed eagerly.

“They’re baking – chocolate chip cookies I think – with their… mother? The cookies are really delicious, and they’re really proud.” Louis beamed. Another reason Louis loved his Soulmate visions: they were always happy ones. He would never admit it to anyone, but after his father died, the visions were his only source of joy, the only things he looked forward to. They really helped him, and he was convinced that’s exactly what his Soulmate intended.

“Mmm cookies… I wish I had visions of nice food…” Niall said longingly.

“You literally have food, Niall – it’s in your mouth!” Louis teased, throwing a handful of grass at his friend.

Niall shielded his sandwich from Louis’ attack. “Not the bacon! The bacon is sacred!”

They both fell back laughing on the grass.

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 12 and 14 _

“Hey Li, what’d you get for question 4?” Harry asked, focused on his notebook. There was no reply. He looked up to see his friend looking troubled. “Li? What’s wrong?”

Liam finally noticed Harry speaking to him and replied, “nothing.”

Obviously that wasn’t true, but Harry decided to let the subject drop if Liam didn’t want to talk about it. He shifted his gaze down to the next maths problem.

“It’s just,” Liam began a few seconds later, “you know how everyone was talking about Soulmate visions at school yesterday?”

“Yeah,” Harry answered, confused about what Liam was getting at. By Year 7, most people had had their first Soulmate visions, and a few kids in class had been sharing their stories, all of which had been pretty ordinary. Harry had not contributed _his_ experience to the conversation.

“Well I haven’t had one yet, and I was wondering… What if I don’t have a Soulmate?” Liam looked anxiously at Harry. Liam’s concerns were valid – some people’s Soulmates died before they could meet, but that was a tiny minority.

“I know it feels like everyone’s talking about Soulmate visions, but we’re only 12. Lots of people don’t have their first visions till they’re 18 or older!” Okay, so maybe he exaggerated the commonness of late visions, but Liam seemed to be slightly reassured. “And even if you don’t have a Soulmate, that’s fine too. There are tons of people who don’t have Soulmates, and they can still be happy with each other.”

“Yeah, alright…” Liam said, “I guess I shouldn’t worry about that right now. I got 2 over 13 for question 4 by the way, what’d you get?”

For a while, they went back to their homework, completely focused on fraction arithmetic. After a few minutes, though, Liam spoke again, “Hey, so I’ve never asked you, what was your first vision?”

No one except Harry’s close family knew the story of his first Soulmate vision, because he didn’t feel comfortable telling it. He’d had only two subsequent visions since then, one when he was seven, and another at eleven. Thankfully, those had been much less sad.

“It was when I was seven,” Harry lied, “they won a football match and the team was celebrating, hoisting them up onto their shoulders. They had a trophy as well, a shiny gold one. I think my Soulmate scored the winning goal, and they were so proud, ‘cause no one expected them to score. All the parents in the stands were cheering…”

“Wow, you saw so much!” Liam marvelled.

“Yeah, I guess so.” Harry agreed. Most people’s visions were blurry, ephemeral, but all of Harry’s had been extremely detailed, instants so vivid they had felt like reality.

Still, with the rarity of his visions, Harry often forgot about the Soulmate thing altogether. When he did think of it, he just hoped his Soulmate wasn’t cold and lonely again.

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 15 and 17 _

“Lottie! Fizzy! Anyone! Have you seen my wallet anywhere?” Louis called out as he frantically searched his room. It wasn’t in his bag, or on his desk, or under the bed.

His oldest sister appeared at the door. “Calm down, Lou, none of us have your wallet,” she said exasperatedly. “So where are you headed this fine evening? A _date_?” She raised her voice near the end so that everyone in the house could hear, and grinned evilly. Louis glared.

“Oh sod off, it’s not a _date_ ; I’m going to the Script concert in Manchester with Niall. But I kinda need my wallet…” he looked at his sister pleadingly.

“Have you checked those jeans?” Lottie replied calmly, gesturing to a discarded pair of trousers near the bed. Louis picked them up, checked the pockets, and sure enough, his wallet was there. Lottie was smug.

“What would I do without you?” Louis said saccharinely.

“Crash and burn,” she replied easily, “And _of course_ you’re not going on a date – you’re saving yourself for that Soulmate of yours!” she grinned and winked, before quickly fleeing the room.

His sister was such a little shit sometimes.

As he was putting his wallet into his jacket pocket, his sight clouded over with another Soulmate vision. But this one was not like the others. There were harsh blows and cruel voices, although Louis couldn’t make out what they were saying. It _hurt_ , and not just physically. There was fear, self-doubt, self-loathing even. And confusion _: Why are they doing this? Is there something wrong with me?_ Then suddenly, it was over.

Louis stood in shock, frozen in place. He’d never had a Soulmate vision that was anything but happy before; he didn’t know what to do. It made him angry – he wanted to fight back against the attackers, stop them from hurting his Soulmate – but he was also completely powerless, unable to do anything because he didn’t so much as know his Soulmate’s _name_.

Just then, Niall appeared in the doorway. “Hey man, ready to go? I was thinkin’ we could grab some Nando’s before the show – I’m really craving some chicken.”

Louis shook himself out of his thoughts and replied, “yeah, sounds great. Let’s go!”

As they left the house, Louis sent a silent prayer to his Soulmate: _I hope you’re okay. Please don’t doubt yourself; you’re the best person I know._

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 17 and 19 _

“Here you go, two scones. Have a nice day!” Harry said as cheerfully as he could manage. As the last customer – Mrs Norris – left the bakery, he finally had a moment of respite after the post-church bakery rush.

At that moment, his phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text from Liam: ‘HOLY SHIT!!! I JUST MET HER!!!!’

Confused, Harry typed out a reply: ‘Who are you talking about?’

Liam simply texted back: ‘Can I call you?’

When Harry replied affirmatively, his phone immediately began to buzz. He answered the call.

“Oh my God, Harry! You will _not_ believe what just happened to me!” Liam sounded breathless with exhilaration. “I met my Soulmate!”

Harry’s mouth dropped open in shock, “No way, Liam! Congratulations!”

“Her name’s Cheryl and she’s a student at Newcastle Uni. She’s so lovely, I don’t even know what to say! When we saw each other… we just knew!” He sounded completely overjoyed, and honestly, who could blame him? Meeting your Soulmate was meant to be one of the happiest moments of your life.

“That’s wonderful Li; I’m so… happy for you.” Even as Harry said those words, he felt a twinge in his chest. Liam had only started having visions a few years ago, but he’d already had more of them than Harry, and now he was meeting his Soulmate at 17. _That’s fine_ , he told himself, _everyone’s Soulmate story is different. It’s up to Fate in the end._

“Sorry for the sudden call,” Liam laughed, “I just really wanted to let you know. Thanks for always believing I’d find my Soulmate.”

Harry laughed, the sound only slightly forced, and said “It’s alright, Li. Have fun with your Soulmate, and see you later.”

Harry had a customer to serve, this time a young man. “Nice t-shirt,” the man said as Harry bagged his order, “The Script are a great band.”

“Yeah, I saw them live in Manchester a couple years ago. It was pretty incredible!” Harry replied, pointedly _not_ thinking about what else had happened to him on the day of the concert. He was past that now; he didn’t care what other people thought of him. “Here’s your order. Have a nice day!” he smiled as genuinely as possible.

“Thanks mate,” the man said, collecting his order and leaving the bakery.

Harry wondered when he’d finally meet _his_ Soulmate, and why he had so few visions. Then the thought crossed his mind: _Does my Soulmate not_ want _to meet me?_

No, he was just jumping to conclusions. He was only 17 after all; he still had plenty of time to wait, he just had no idea how long.

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 19 and 21 _

Louis was still in shock. He studied the piece of paper in front of him, stroking it almost reverently. He couldn’t believe it – he was a university graduate! If only all the people who’d said he’d never pass A levels, let alone get into uni and graduate, could see him now.

‘Bachelor of Arts in English Literature and Drama’ it said on the certificate; Louis had never been prouder. He wondered if his Soulmate had received a vision of the moment. He wondered if his Soulmate went to uni too. He just wondered a lot about his Soulmate in general. His visions had declined somewhat in frequency over the years, as his Soulmate’s excitable childhood years had passed, but he still received two or three a month, enough to keep him hopeful.

Louis decided to stop staring at his certificate and finish packing his suitcase, finally dragging it down the stairs to the front door 20 minutes later. Niall was already sitting on the sofa chatting to Jay and Dan, Louis’ stepfather.

“Nialler! Let’s get going then; don’t want to miss my first ever flight out of England!” Louis called.

“Coming!” Niall replied, jumping up and bouncing to the door where Louis was standing. His suitcase was already in the car.

“Bye Mum, bye Dan! Bye everybody!” Louis shouted into the house, before closing the door and jumping into Niall’s passenger seat.

As they sped towards the airport on the motorway, streetlights streaking past in double time, Niall spoke up, “So what’cha fancy doin’ in New York?”

They hadn’t planned out the trip when they bought the tickets; they just knew they wanted to celebrate their graduation with a grand adventure.

“Dunno, Niall. I’m thinking Statue of Liberty and Empire State Building, definitely. Then maybe check out the MoMA? I think they’ve got a pretty cool photography exhibit on, and some other interesting stuff. Then _of course_ we _have_ to see Broadway – ‘Cats’, ‘Wicked’, all the classics!”

Niall laughed. “Sounds great! I’ve already looked up some of the best restaurants in the city. I’m _so_ ready for real New York pizza.”

“It’s always food with you innit?” Louis teased.

“I’ve just got my priorities set.” Niall defended himself.

Niall had met his Soulmate at uni, an American exchange student named Selena. They were both extremely relaxed with the whole Soulmate thing, almost _too_ relaxed, Louis thought. They knew they wouldn’t be living on the same continent for the next few years, so decided to stay friends and see other people until they had the opportunity to have a proper relationship.

Louis aspired to be that level of self-assured, but it was difficult when all his friends had met their Soulmates, and he was the only one left waiting. At least he knew he _had_ a Soulmate; he wasn’t one of the unlucky few whose Soulmates died before they could meet them. _Yet_.

Why was he thinking like that? No, he needed to remain positive. Louis gazed out at the passing streetlights and willed himself to think about his upcoming trip.

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 21 and 23 _

“You done yet, mate?” Zayn asked impatiently, as Harry fiddled with the aperture settings on his camera.

“Hold on, just one more set,” Harry promised, and began to take even more photos as Zayn tried to remain as motionless a possible. “Okay, those were exactly what I wanted. Thanks for being my model, Z.”

“Cheers,” Zayn replied and flopped back onto the sofa with his laptop, doing research for his next paper.

Harry was glad Zayn still put up with him after three years of being roommates; he was sure most people would have told him to fuck off with his camera by now. Which, to be fair, Zayn had done multiple times, but then agreed to help anyway.

Harry inserted the camera’s SD card into his laptop, waiting for the pictures to load. He had a good feeling about this project, which was important considering it was worth half his grade for the year. The idea for it came from an exhibit at the MoMA he’d been to a couple of years ago, a history of photography display by Robert B Menschel. Harry’s idea was to recreate various photography styles of the past 150 years around New York City, using the same locations and model – Zayn – for each one. He was actually quite excited for his professor to see it.

Photography had always been a hobby of Harry’s, but he never thought he’d be doing it as an actual university degree. At NYU, no less. It was still a bit of a crazy concept to him.

As Harry was trying to decide between two nearly identical photos of Zayn to include in his project, the front door swung open as Gigi arrived with Chinese takeaway for dinner.

“Hey, which photo d’you think I should use?” he asked, showing her both on the screen.

She stopped setting out the food and considered it for a moment. “The one on the right – the light on his face is at a better angle there.”

“Thanks,” Harry said. He was grateful to have an experienced model to resolve these dilemmas for him.

“Honeeyy…” Gigi sing-songed at Zayn to rouse him from his work, “Dinner’s reaadyy…”

He reluctantly shut his laptop and turned his attention to the food on the coffee table. “Thanks babe,” he said, pecking his Soulmate on the lips and picking up his carton of food.

Gigi and Zayn had one of the cuter first meeting stories Harry had heard – Gigi had been the model at one of Zayn’s sketching classes in his second year. Harry had watched them fall in love before his very eyes. _Yet another friend finding their Soulmate before me_ , Harry thought, _but there’s no point being bitter about it_.

The only problem was that Gigi was now a constant reminder of the whole Soulmate issue. Last he’d heard from his own Soulmate, they had graduated university. It had been an explosion of elation and pride, with a gaggle of girls, Harry assumed sisters, hugging their sibling. His Soulmate had then jumped into a violent embrace with another graduate – a blond man – wrapping their legs around his waist and spinning around. Harry wondered who that man was. He wasn’t _jealous_ , he insisted, just curious. But there was that nagging voice in his head that kept repeating: _They don’t want to know you. They’re happy without you_.

“So,” Gigi asked, “anyone up for a round of cards?”

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 26 and 28 _

“Stacey, that was great,” Louis encouraged, “just try to face the audience a little bit more. I know it feels strange not to face the person you’re speaking to, but it looks really good from down here.”

Stacey took in Louis’ words and nodded.

“Now David, your projection was much better today; I could hear you clearly from all the way at the back. Just make sure to _learn your lines_ , alright?” Louis looked at the boy slightly sternly.

“Yes, Mr Tomlinson,” David replied.

“Alright then, enjoy the rest of your evening guys! See you in class tomorrow!” Louis called out as the kids ran to grab their bags and make their way home for dinner.

He returned to his classroom – he had a few more English essays to mark before he went back to his flat. The school was silent and eerie at this hour, the usual omnipresent chatter absent. Louis was tired and hungry, but he trudged through the last of the essays, trying to read each one thoroughly and write at least three sentences of comments.

He’d had plenty of teachers who simply didn’t care, and that had been tremendously discouraging for him as a student. He vowed to never let himself become _that_ teacher. After all, the reason he became a teacher was to encourage kids to believe in themselves and in their work. As his father had said: ‘The purpose of life is not to be happy yourself; it is to be compassionate and kind. If you have made a difference to others, you have lived well.’ In fact, that was the very quote on his tombstone.

He pushed through his tiredness, finally finishing the essays and replacing them in a folder. He was thankful for the upcoming Christmas break – he would finally have a chance to rest. Maybe visit his mother and Dan, and Lottie and her Soulmate Tommy. Christmas break also meant his birthday was approaching. 29. _Shit, that’s almost 30_ , Louis thought, _I’m getting old_.

As he made his way to the car park, footsteps echoing in the empty halls, Louis felt the familiar blurring that indicated another Soulmate vision. This time, there was a cavernous white room – probably a photography studio, as Louis was fairly sure by now that his Soulmate was a photographer. The main feeling of this vision was excitement, mixed in with quite a bit of awe. They were skipping and spinning around the room, presumably seeing it for the first time.

 _Congrats on the new studio_ , Louis thought, _you’re gonna smash it, as always_. He often did this, replying to his Soulmate visions in his head as though it were a two-way correspondence. He knew they couldn’t hear him though. Just seeing so many glimpses of this person’s life and feelings, he felt as though he already knew them; he just longed to finally meet them in person.

It was like life’s cruel joke: Louis was given the earliest and most frequent visions, just to be the last one to actually meet his Soulmate. _It’s all going to be fine,_ he told himself, _Fate has a plan_.

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 30 and 32 _

It had been a long day of photo-shoots, and Harry was stood in front of the hob cooking up a simple beef stir fry. Taylor was on the other side of the kitchen chopping tomatoes for the salad. They worked in companionable silence.

Once dinner was served, they sat down opposite each other at their little wooden table and began to eat.

“Do you think we’ll have to reshoot any of today’s stuff?” Taylor asked.

“No, I reckon it’s pretty good. The final call’s up to the editor, of course.” Harry replied, taking a sip of his water.

“If _you_ think it’s alright, Mark will _definitely_ approve,” she said. He didn’t disagree; Mark had been very pleased with all of Harry’s previous contributions to the magazine, and this new set was pretty stunning, in Harry’s humble opinion. A lot of it was up to the model, of course, but Taylor always delivered good shots.

The next few minutes were spent eating – just two friends, roommates, Soulmate-less people sharing a quiet dinner. Then Taylor said, “Hey, Harry, I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Harry was concerned.

“Well… I know why I haven’t found my Soulmate yet,” she began, looking down at her plate. “It’s because I don’t have one.”

Harry’s eyes widened. “Are you sure?”

She looked up and met his gaze solemnly. “I saw them die. I felt it… in a vision, years ago.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry didn’t know what else to say.

“Yeah, so I know we’re kind of living together until we finally find our Soulmates, but I just wanted to let you know that I don’t have one. I never will.” She seemed almost… ashamed? _But it’s not her fault_ , Harry thought, _Fate was just cruel_.

Harry had been struggling with his own Soulmate situation quite a lot recently. Last month, he’d had his first Soulmate vision in over a decade. It was in a school auditorium – a little girl was bowing at the end of a show, and Harry’s Soulmate ran up to the stage to hug her. _I’m so proud of you_ , they were thinking, _I knew you could do it_. So his Soulmate had moved on then, started a family. It was fair; they must have been in their 30’s by now. But it still hurt, knowing that his Soulmate wasn’t waiting for him at all.

“I don’t have a Soulmate either,” Harry lied. It might as well be the truth. “Never have.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Harry; I had no idea.” Taylor sympathised.

“Hey,” Harry offered, an idea springing into his head “if neither of us have Soulmates, we can be each other’s… Almost-Soulmates.”

Taylor smiled a little, and joked weakly, “is that a proposal, Mr Styles?”

“I guess it is.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 36 and 38 _

“Congrats, Lou!” exclaimed Lottie, as Louis returned from the stage with his shiny ‘Most Inspiring Teacher of the Year’ award in tow.

“We knew you’d win it,” Tommy added, “the kids love you!”

“Thanks, guys.” Louis smiled as he sat back down at their table. He didn’t do what he did to win an award, and having to accept it in a room of peers and colleagues was somewhat awkward, although no one would dispute he deserved it. He looked down at his hands.

“Hey,” Lottie said more quietly, putting her hand on his knee, “Mum would be so proud.” Louis caught his sister’s eye and nodded in acknowledgement and remembrance. Jay had passed away a few months before, but she had loved helping Louis with the kids, often accompanying them to their performances in Manchester and London. He had dedicated his speech to her.

The awards were over, and the rest of the evening was devoted to drinking and mingling. Mainly drinking – it was an open bar after all. After about half an hour of casual chitchat with Lottie and Tommy, Eleanor came over to the table, swaying slightly, with a wine glass in her hand. She sat down next to Louis.

“Congratulations on the award, Louis! Your speech was so beautiful!” she professed. “I wish I could be as dedicated a teacher as you.” Eleanor, Ms Calder to her students, was a fellow English teacher at Louis’ school. She had moved to Doncaster from London two years ago, after her Soulmate died in a car accident.

Louis chuckled. “Thanks, El,” he said.

“Sooo…” Eleanor asked, “what are your plans for the rest of the night?” As she said this, she leaned in closer to him, their arms nearly touching.

“Umm…” Louis began awkwardly, looking across the table for help, but Lottie and Tommy had decided at that particular moment to go to the bar. He cursed his sister in his head.

The thing was, Eleanor never made a secret of the fact that she was interested in Louis, and Louis had never expressly said he was not interested in her. If only he weren’t still waiting for someone else, everything would be so much easier…

“I was thinking,” Eleanor continued, “we should celebrate your achievement! We could go back to my place and… hang out?” She smiled hopefully. _She actually has quite a pretty smile_ , Louis thought, _it could be so easy to take up her offer_.

Louis recalled his more recent Soulmate visions with a pang of bitterness. When he’d received one four years ago of his Soulmate holding a new-born in what appeared to be a hospital, heart swelling with love and tenderness, that’s when he’d known – they had moved on. _I don’t blame them_ , he always told himself, _they’re just making the best of a shitty situation_. His quarrel wasn’t with his Soulmate; rather, it was Fate he resented.

Well, if his Soulmate was clearly moving on, then maybe he should too. The thought of following Eleanor back to her flat was still a bit intimidating, though, so he conceded, “How ‘bout we go back to mine? We could watch a film?”

Eleanor accepted enthusiastically, so Louis drove her to his flat. He put ‘Grease’, one of his favourite films, in the DVD player, and they sat down on the sofa together to watch it.

As onscreen John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John were reminiscing about summer nights, Eleanor shuffled closer to Louis, resting her head on his shoulder. _This isn’t so bad,_ Louis thought, _I could get used to this._ But as he tried to force himself to relax into the touch, all he could think about was a tiny studio apartment, and Chinese takeaway, and chocolate chip cookies, and soft bed sheets. Hundreds of visions, tiny fragments of a life, played on a loop in his head. He glanced over at Eleanor, who was engrossed in the film, and it just felt _wrong_. He couldn’t do this.

“El,” he whispered, “we need to talk.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 41 and 43 _

Harry watched fondly as Darcy sprinted across the grass with her kite, trying to get it to fly, as Aaron waddled along after her. It was the first sunny weekend of spring and the kids had asked, or rather _insisted_ , on going to the park.

“Ms Calder told us how to fly kites in class, Daddy. I never flew a kite before! Pleeeaaseee…” Darcy had pleaded, and Harry couldn’t say no to that face.

He looked over at Taylor, who was sat near him on the picnic blanket, her eyes closed, soaking in the sunshine. She sensed his gaze and looked at him briefly to smile, before shutting her eyes again. It was a silent statement: _We haven’t done too badly, have we?_ Harry smiled too: _Not bad at all_.

Harry and Taylor had an understanding – they knew they weren’t meant to be, and they didn’t pretend to be. They were friends, and partners, and raised their kids together. And they were pretty happy.

Before Darcy was born, they had decided to move to a town in England near where Harry grew up – they wanted their kids to have the small-town upbringing they had – and started a wedding photography business. They were doing pretty well for themselves, in Harry’s opinion.

“Mummy!” Darcy cried out, “I can’t get it to fly! Can you help?”

Taylor chuckled and stood up. “Don’t worry, sweetheart, we’ll get it to work,” she promised as she made her way over to the kids.

“Great day to be out with the family, innit?” he heard an Irish voice speak up behind him. He turned to see a man around his age, crisp packet in hand, sitting on another picnic blanket. “I’m Niall, by the way,” he added.

“Yeah, nice to meet you,” Harry replied, “I’m Harry. Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you live here?”

“Nah,” Niall replied casually, “We’re just bringin’ the kids to see their grandparents. I grew up here, though.” He tossed a crisp into his mouth with impressive precision.

“But… aren’t you Irish?” Harry asked, confused.

Niall burst into laughter, slapping his knee as if Harry just made the best joke he’d ever heard. “Moved here when I was nine,” he explained.

Harry looked out at the grass to see Taylor and Darcy happily flying the kite together, as Aaron picked flowers with another boy about his age.

“Our kids look like they’re getting along,” Niall pointed out.

“Yeah,” Harry smiled, “maybe you guys should come over to ours for a barbecue or something before you leave. I’m sure they’d love that.”

“Yeah, man. Sounds great!” Niall agreed.

They went back to quietly watching their kids. Aaron had just tripped over his own feet, and was now being comforted by Taylor as he cried. The sound made Harry think of something else – his latest vision.

It had happened last week: his Soulmate was stood in the doorway, facing an empty apartment. The lights were off. It was silent. They took a few steps into the flat, wobbling slightly – _had they been drinking?_ – and then collapsed to their knees in the middle of the room. They felt so tired, and confined, and _angry_ , and their heart _hurt_. After a few seconds, the sobs started – repressed, broken noises from a lonely, broken soul. _Why me?,_ they were thinking, _I don’t want to be alone._

Maybe Harry had been wrong; maybe they had never moved on at all. But whatever the case, there was nothing he could do – he couldn’t find his Soulmate even if he tried. Still, that latest vision reminded Harry all too much of his first – the little child, cold and lonely in a rainy graveyard. _Fate,_ he thought tiredly, _it’s all down to Fate._

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 48 and 50 _

Louis sat at his old upright piano, fingers moving deftly over the keys, playing the familiar melody instinctively. He wondered in passing if it was considered conceited to play your own songs, but he didn’t really care. This relaxed him.

Louis had taken piano lessons in his younger years, but had only returned to the instrument in earnest six years ago. “It’s therapeutic,” his psychiatrist had insisted, “to let your thoughts and feelings out in music.”

Now that he no longer taught full-time – although he still helped direct theatre productions – he had plenty of time to dedicate to music. It had started with simple melodies, short little songs listing all the positive things in his life, just to remind himself of their existence. Then, as he became more comfortable with music, there came a series of songs admitting to all the loneliness, guilt, and spite he had always kept buried. Those songs he would never play for anyone, not even himself anymore, but they were necessary at the time. Nowadays, his songs were still mostly written from experience, but decidedly less dismal in tone. Niall even used Selena’s LA music industry connections to license some of them to professional singers and bands. Louis wasn’t going to lie: that made him feel like a bit of a rock star.

“ _The sun goes down and it comes back up,_ ” he sang, “ _The world, it turns no matter what._ ” This one had been inspired by his mother, and had actually been a moderate hit on the charts a couple years back.

At that moment came the familiar ringing in his ears that meant he was getting another Soulmate vision. This one was quite vivid: his Soulmate’s children – they had two, Louis knew – entered the room carrying a massive homemade cake. Louis could just make out the kids singing ‘Happy Birthday’, though the sound was somewhat muffled. This vision was tinted with joy and surprise, but most importantly a deep familial love. _I guess I finally know your birthday,_ Louis thought, _happy birthday mate, have a good one._

Louis had made his peace with Fate; just because it decided not to let him meet his Soulmate, didn’t mean he had to be lonely. He surrounded himself with family, friends, his students, and his music. Did that mean he never wished it had turned out differently? Never felt a pang of longing with each new vision? Never cried into his pillow, reminiscing of more hopeful times? Of course not. But he just had to live with that.

“ _Oh, if it all goes wrong,_ ” he continued, “ _darling, just hold on._ ”

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 54 and 56 _

Aaron turned to wave goodbye one last time before disappearing into the depths of the airport. Harry always knew this day would come, had technically already been through it once with Darcy, but that didn’t make it any easier. He struggled to keep the tears from spilling.

“I guess that’s it then,” Taylor said, voice strained. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears, staring at the spot where Aaron had disappeared. “I guess we’ve done it all now.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asked.

“We’ve experienced everything,” she explained, voice almost breaking, “everything people want to experience with their Soulmate. Except the actual Soulmate part.” She smiled sadly, and finally turned to face Harry. Her expression was… resigned.

Harry said nothing, just stared. She sighed. “I know you have a Soulmate, Harry.”

He was _not_ expecting that. They had an unspoken agreement never to bring up their Soulmate situation. “What?” he said dumbly.

“I’ve seen it a couple times,” she explained, “your eyes glaze over and you go somewhere far away. It’s the same look my friends always got when they had their visions.” Harry was silent.

“I’m not mad,” she continued, “but I understand… now that Darcy and Aaron are all grown up, you really have no reason to stay with me. If you want to leave, find your Soulmate, that’s okay.”

Harry was completely taken aback; he struggled to mentally compose a response. In a shop behind them, a piano ballad was playing. Harry recognised the song from years ago. “ _What do you do when the chapter ends? Do you close the book and never read it again?_ ” the singer was asking. He looked at Taylor, someone who’d been by his side for over two decades, and knew he couldn’t do that to her.

“You’re right,” he began, “I do have a Soulmate. But I’ve never met them, and if Fate stays on its track, I never will. I didn’t choose that. But I _did_ choose you; you’re my best friend and I love you, even if it’s not in the way we might wish. I’m not going to abandon you just because our parental obligations are over.”

She gave him a half-smile. “But don’t you miss them? Your Soulmate?”

“Of course I do,” he answered, being honest about this for the first time in years. “I think about them all the time – I wonder where they are, what they’re doing, what they’re thinking of me, or even _if_ they’re thinking of me at all. It’s true: I _am_ still waiting to meet them. But we can wait together.”

“ _Oh, if it all goes wrong,_ ” the singer belted out, “ _darling, just hold on._ ”

He took her hands in both of his. “I’m not leaving,” he promised.

 

~ ~ ~

 

_ 66 and 68 _

Louis’ latest vision was different from the others. It was imageless, soundless, but he knew it was a vision nonetheless.

He was making himself a cup of afternoon tea when it hit him – a sudden wave of mourning, of aimless grief. Louis knew his Soulmate had lost people before, had seen visions of funerals and hospital bedsides, but this was different. _It’s_ her _isn’t it? I’m so sorr_ y, he thought as forcefully as he could manage, hoping his Soulmate would miraculously receive his message.

Although the vision itself soon passed, the aftertaste of grief remained for hours. It reminded him of something he didn’t often think about – his father’s death. He tried to remember the last time he’d been to visit the grave, and realised it must have been nearly 30 years ago, when they had buried Jay in the same cemetery. He decided he needed to make a trip next week, on his parent’s anniversary – it seemed fitting.

And that’s how Louis found himself standing in front of his father’s gravestone on a sunny day in March, wearing his best suit and holding a bouquet of hydrangeas, feeling more than a bit unsure of himself.

‘ _William Michael Tomlinson, beloved father, loving husband’_ was carved into the rock’s surface, followed by the quote that Louis remembered so well.

Louis cleared his throat. “Hey Dad,” he began, “I’m sorry I haven’t been here recently…”

He felt so awkward, and his voice sounded strange, but he pressed on, “I hope you and Mum are happy together; me and Lottie are doing great – her and Tommy have such a beautiful family.” Louis smiled as he pictured them. “I haven’t found my Soulmate yet, so I’m still waiting on Fate for that one,” he chuckled self-deprecatingly.

Louis took a deep breath. It was time to say what he really needed to get off his chest, “I tried to do what you said, Dad. I tried to help people – ‘If you have made a difference to others, you have lived well’ and all that. I tried so hard…” A sob escaped his throat. He swallowed it down and continued “I tried so hard and I hope you can see it; I hope you’re proud.”

He paused for a second, gathering his thoughts. “But _I_ wasn’t happy, Dad. And I know now, I wasn’t happy because I didn’t _let_ myself be happy. I was so fixated on something I had no control over! I waited for so long! You always said Fate would let me meet my Soulmate when the time was right, and I didn’t realise for _so_ long. Before I meet _them_ , I have to be happy with _me_. That’s what you meant all along… and I finally understand.”

The tears were falling freely now, and Louis’ heart felt lighter. “These are for you, by the way,” he said, laying the flowers over the grave, “I love you, Dad.”

 

~ ~ ~

 

Harry stared blankly as the coffin was lowered to its final resting place. Aaron and Darcy both squeezed his hand in consolation, one on his left and the other on his right.

The past few days had happened so quickly; he was still having a hard time making sense of it all. His brain was a blur of goodbyes, tears, and hospital beds, and at the centre of it all was one fact that echoed resoundingly in his head: _She’s gone. She’s gone, and now you’re finally alone_.

Taylor had insisted Harry not see her death as a tragedy. “I’ve had a good life,” she had said as compellingly as she could manage, “and you had a big part in that. I’m happy with what I’ve done, so please don’t be sad when I’m gone.” Harry was trying, but it was easier said than done.

As the wood of the coffin finally hit the dirt, Harry found himself asking: _What now?_ He had dedicated his whole life to raising his family, and then to making sure Taylor had someone there for her, despite being screwed over by Fate. But now it was just him left. Alone. What was he supposed to do with his life?

The service ended, and everyone began to leave the cemetery. Everyone except Harry. “I’m going to do what you said,” he vowed quietly, “I’m going to look for them. But I just want you to know, that if I had to spend my life without my Soulmate, I’m glad I at least had you.”

He blew a kiss to the ground, “goodbye, love,” and turned around to leave. But then he stopped.

He was hit full-force with his most powerful Soulmate vision in decades. The intense cocktail of emotions was almost too much to contain in a single human body – love, grief, liberation, determination. He recognised the place immediately: it was the same graveyard as his first vision, from the same angle. The tombstones, the oak tree – it was all just as he remembered. Except this time, it was sunny.

Harry stood transfixed in the moment for over a minute, unable to move a muscle, but when the vision finally cleared, he was left confused. Was he still in the vision? That was the oak tree right in front of him, and there was the grave, and… _oh_.

An old man in an old black suit knelt before the very tombstone of Harry’s visions. He was facing away, bowing his head as he gently placed a bouquet of blue hydrangeas on the grave.

Harry stumbled towards the man in a daze. When he was finally close enough, he called out, voice hoarse, “Excuse me?”

Slowly, the man turned to face Harry. Their eyes met.


End file.
